By my side
I seem to fly light in the air with the triumph that I bear in my heart. I’ve obtained inspiration once more as like a child I put a finger in my lips as I grin over a situation that plays in my mind. I heartily laugh over some events that I remember.
This must be love! I don’t care how she looks but for me she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve set my eyes on. This is how I fall in love. I look unto the heart. When it’s pure and clean, I would love her person than her stature. And I would love dearly with just the two of us knowing it. But I like to shout from the mountaintop, “I Love yoouuuuu!”
Heheh, stars still shine at the wee hours of the morning, and what great freedom I feel! I’m seemed tipsy with wine though I don’t drink at all. Though my room is light green and plain since it was newly painted, I seem to see roses everywhere and depict a picture of the girl and I wanted to offer for her those roses.
I seem to feel her embrace, as I sense the cold of the morning, and to think it’s just 4:30 a.m. But I don’t mind the time nor count it, every minute is for her and the smell of the morning seems flowers, scents of ilang-ilang and sampaguita.
But mind you, they are not growing by this time. Mom might have cutted the tree or the bush. I dreamt of playing hide and seek with the girl I love in the forest, and swimming in the pond though I don’t know how to swim.
I would dream of sketching her picture, those curly hairs and sparkling eyes and a mysterious squirm as she may yawn in my imagination. And I would fondle her nose and tough her chins, and say, “What a beautiful girl you are!” Hahahaahh.
It’s true! For me she’s beautiful! Everyone has her kind of beauty, and that should be respected. I feel submerged in a drum till my neck.
Para na akong singer nito eh.
But mind you I actually sing, but I would settle now for gospel songs. I forgot to ask what is her theme song. But suddenly, I am caught in a blue at this time. What if she doesn’t want me? With all my looks, though I’m not that muscle man. And am I smart? She likes such kind daw.
And I was reduced to recollection. My Dad always cautions me of over joy. For if it happens in the evening, I may not be able to sleep the night. My heart seems squeezed by this time. I’m afraid for another blow again, and would not know if I’ll be able to love once more should this fail.
I look at the heaven outside, and I can’t see the stars, they seem to squirm in my heart and I seem to feel pain. I easily get turned off, and she must be sweet or I’ll die. I’d been thinking what would I put in my room. I don’t want to put a nearly naked girl anymore.
I use to have a Tanya Garcia poster in my room. What will I place? Cat and Dog, heheh? I want to try a picture sketched by me but I don’t draw anymore. I’ve given up sketching though I always win first place before in painting contests. I’ve never even try using oil paint.
I have a poem, By the Candlelight behind my door but that’s all, its bare except for the furniture and beds, including a computer set, a durabox and an electric fan I own. I use to write in my computer right now, wala lang Internet. I think of my love again, my newly found love. I long to caress her, but she’s far from me.
If only she’s by my side…
…with my love.
Jojo
