DID GOD MANIFEST IN FLESH?
Salt to the earth
FOUR
The
scripture says: “In that day a man shall cast his idols of silver, and his
idols of gold which they made each one for himself to worship, to the
moles and to the bats; To go into the tops of the ragged rocks, for the fear of
the Lord, and for the glory of his majesty, when he ariseth to shake terribly
the earth.”
I
was once against the worship before graven images or what Catholics refer to as
Holy Images. But my understanding was opened. Before as the early Christian
doctrines say, there was no image or picture in the Church. But priests and
theologians have this problem of how to educate the people. A little later,
there was the cross but no figure of Man crucified.
I
AM not distracted by the image of Jesus fastened on the crosses. Very much
later I have reconciled myself to the crucifix, though I don’t want to wear it
as if an amulet. The power of God in my heart is more than enough. He taught me
to be humble though strange was my feeling how I am to bear this man that I AM.
I’m
not a double of Christ nor am I a replica of his humanity. No, I do not aspire
to be one. One thing that makes me write I AM in bold letters is for the sake
of poetic appearance. It does not say that I be God possessing yoga powers.
That acclamation would make me a Devil. I cannot repeat what Lucifer had done.
I
step on foot though at times, I seem to alight on air as I walk. When my aura
shines, no one can look me straight to the eyes in longer seconds. In fact I
look at up to five persons without twinkle. But I’m relaxed now, as I have the
smile, I capture men and women, boys and girls through the eyes that make them
also smile back at me.
I
try to be firm on the ground, accepting fully the fullness of my humanity and
human to fix to myself that I am a man, low in nature and submissive to God. I
never elevated myself except for the glory of God through scripture texts that
I may be a light and a salt to the earth.
Though my lips have the lust, I only want to steal every man’s
heart, and yes, women too. I want to give them inner joy and be remembered by
them. I could not live without company in Brotherhood. They are to me, my all!
Hence, I count them as friends. As it is prophesied, I too receive scars all
over me that I may be beautiful like Jesus.
But
it is not well with the wicked people. They stabbed me on the back to add to my
cross multiplying my oppression. They insulted me, they chastise me, they let
be bear heavier load. I can’t do but accept and ignore. They think I am mad or
worse psychotic! They have no pity on me suffering from insomnia because my chakras
erupted as my kundalini rose up. They treat me as nothing. They
desecrate my person.
Anyway,
they still remained as those I love and shall not forget. They are my babies
that mothers won’t forget. I have carved them in the palm of my hand. I take
them to my heart and embrace them, though I’m holding nothing but air. This is
perhaps why I had been friendlier with men.
I
created a new big seminary out of the world, all men and little women. More
boys and some girls. I wrote for their love letters, which they send to the
girls they love and wanted to be their girlfriend. I’ve been blamed for early
marriages or pregnancy as early as third year high school.
Is
it my fault to have much love in my heart? To count them as my little ones? I
pray I am not guilty! But these people are my children. They are the flock that
Jesus wants to give to me. I ask forgiveness from the parents for teaching the
young to express themselves.
Furthermore,
I taught them how to write poems, they learned from me or they received poems I
made at random. I bought stationeries in bundles and let them fall in line
doing what they want from me. And I even gave my body, soul and spirit, that I
may not be different from the stars that form the constellation.
So
I’m not only scarred but also dirty. I have hands not made of gold but wet with
blood. Yet, I become like that of the tax collector before the Pharisee,
accepting my sins and in both knees plead for mercy to my God. And he took me
to His arms, as he was a Samaritan man. Likewise, he cured my disease and, he
became my healer casting out the demons from my body.
As
a result, I was set free though with feet still firm on the ground and never did
sin again making my heart a vessel of peace and acceptance. I did rise after my
fall yet dwelt still with sinners that I might win them unto holiness. Though I
strike as of a double edge sword with the Word, I readily hug them to my breast
and never leave them.
Yet,
I remain a man or Man, it doesn’t matter. Though I’m in complete union with my
God, I’m purely human still tempted yet do not succumb to it. And God knows how
to handle my temptations with me overcoming these. He protects me with a helmet
of salvation. He shields me from further pain and makes his cross as a barrier.
I
never did live empty anymore but continue to hunger that I may sip the endless
body of water in the ocean of love and affirmations.
-Jyotisman
Nearu Upendra
